I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize