I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
