My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
