I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
