she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
