I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
