i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
