Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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