So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
