So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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