Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
