So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
