If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
