So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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