I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
