I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
