nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
