so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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