I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
