Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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