were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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