the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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