Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
