i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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