he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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