It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
