I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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