apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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