Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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