my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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