There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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