No stitches, just platelets and will power
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
