I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
