This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
