making cat noises will not fix the situation.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize