Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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