Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
