I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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