he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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