I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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