he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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