All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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