Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
