every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
