I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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