We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
