I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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