i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
