Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
