he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
