so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
