she woke up with a sticky ear
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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