On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
