Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
