....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
