o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize